Today was not a great day. To start off I work up feeling exhausted. Probably from going to bed at 1am and getting up at 6:45am. Thankfully, I had preset my coffee maker to be ready this morning. So, I made me a mug of coffee and placed the rest in a thermos and headed of to work. The drive into work was pretty good. No traffic issues. However, as soon as I arrived at work, I started getting phone calls and emails needing immediate answers. What helped cheer me up this morning was that a coworker that I had helped yesterday had brought in some donuts from Wal-Mart.
Ever notice how good things can actually make things worse? I ended up eating most of the donut holes as my coworkers were not here today. That led me to overeating, then depression about how much I weigh set in. That, combined with what has been going on the past few days has put me in a downward, but manageable, spiral. Why do I take such things to heart? Why can I not see the sunshine through the rain? Thankfully, I am taking my meds. Without them, that downward spiral would not be manageable and I would end up thinking things that I shouldn’t be thinking about.
On a different and brighter note:
Tonight, my family and I are going to a friend of the girls for a play date/dinner. This should be interesting. This boy they went to school with. He actually, had a really hard time after we had to pull the girls out when Alexa had her allergic reaction to peanuts. He started asking his mother about why the girls were not at school anymore and why he couldn’t send them a valentine. The mother gave in and looked up our address so that he could send valentines cards to the girls. That was so sweet.
Keep me in your thoughts. Hopefully, this weekend will be better.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Self-Loathing
I guess it is time for some self loathing. This all happened following a talk I had with a coworker. Apparently, I threw her under the bus. It wasn't my intention. Seems like that happens way too often.
To all friends past and present: If I have stated or done something that has made you feel that I am against you in any way, or if you feel that I have thrown you under the bus, I am sorry. My mouth often goes faster than my mind. My fingers, typing, go even faster.
Quote:
God grant me patience
...and I want it right now!
The Patience Prayer
Bits & Pieces Magazine Vol. R/No. 2.
To all friends past and present: If I have stated or done something that has made you feel that I am against you in any way, or if you feel that I have thrown you under the bus, I am sorry. My mouth often goes faster than my mind. My fingers, typing, go even faster.
Quote:
God grant me patience
...and I want it right now!
The Patience Prayer
Bits & Pieces Magazine Vol. R/No. 2.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
May God Bless You and Keep You
For those that know me, I have had a history of going to church. I have even held some teaching/leadership positions. Much to my dismay, I have fallen away from the church in the past 9 years. Now, I am going to church at Grace Missionary Church near me. My girls love it there and Melissa and I are now being fed spiritually.
During the past few days of driving to and from work, I have been listening to some Christian radio stations. This has made me think quite a bit who I am and what I should be. I know that I have a ways to go before I am fully representing the kind of Christian I want to be. However, at least I know now, I am on my way back.
I have had a simple and common bible verse going through my head lately. John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whosoever believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life". This time, I was thinking of it in terms of a father as many have done before.
1.) "For God" - The creator of all and whom I place my faith and trust.
2.) "So Loved The World" - Full of sin, hate, greed, defiance
3.) "That He gave His only Son" - His ONLY Son. I can not imagine giving up one of my girls. I can only imagine what it would be like to give up my only. To take it further, to give up my Son to bear the sins of the world as described in #2, to die on a cross for me.
4.) "That whosoever" - Even a sinner such as I, with some defiance, greed and hate.
5.) "Believes in Him" - Believes in the Son to be the embodyment of God and the only path to heaven".
6.) "Will not perish" - In the fires of hell.
7.) "But will have everlasting life" - In Heaven.
It is my prayer that God will Bless You and Keep You safe.
During the past few days of driving to and from work, I have been listening to some Christian radio stations. This has made me think quite a bit who I am and what I should be. I know that I have a ways to go before I am fully representing the kind of Christian I want to be. However, at least I know now, I am on my way back.
I have had a simple and common bible verse going through my head lately. John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whosoever believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life". This time, I was thinking of it in terms of a father as many have done before.
1.) "For God" - The creator of all and whom I place my faith and trust.
2.) "So Loved The World" - Full of sin, hate, greed, defiance
3.) "That He gave His only Son" - His ONLY Son. I can not imagine giving up one of my girls. I can only imagine what it would be like to give up my only. To take it further, to give up my Son to bear the sins of the world as described in #2, to die on a cross for me.
4.) "That whosoever" - Even a sinner such as I, with some defiance, greed and hate.
5.) "Believes in Him" - Believes in the Son to be the embodyment of God and the only path to heaven".
6.) "Will not perish" - In the fires of hell.
7.) "But will have everlasting life" - In Heaven.
It is my prayer that God will Bless You and Keep You safe.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Dear Valentine
To my valentine, Melissa:
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey, you'll never know dear how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away". How true those lyrics are. You are my best friend, my companion, my lover, my caretaker, my happiness, my heartache, my joy, my sunshine. You are everything to me. There is no other that could ever replace or compare to you. You are a wonderful wife, mother and friend. You know how to cheer me up, level me out, and beat me down whenever needed.
This is our 15th Valentines together and I love you just as much, if not more, than I did when we met.
S&M, Always and forever,
Scott
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey, you'll never know dear how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away". How true those lyrics are. You are my best friend, my companion, my lover, my caretaker, my happiness, my heartache, my joy, my sunshine. You are everything to me. There is no other that could ever replace or compare to you. You are a wonderful wife, mother and friend. You know how to cheer me up, level me out, and beat me down whenever needed.
This is our 15th Valentines together and I love you just as much, if not more, than I did when we met.
S&M, Always and forever,
Scott
Monday, February 2, 2009
Another day another try
hat can I say? I am a flawed human. Though, I am learning during this rough patch of journaling. I have replaced snacking on sweets with chewing sugarless gum. Extra Polar Ice to be exact. I have also replaced my nightly sugary snack with Jello brand Sugar Free chocolate pudding and whipped cream. As for the rest of my diet issues, I am still having a problem with ordering the wrong meals when I eat out, both restaurants and fast food. I always go for the cheapest or tastiest. I have been doing better as far as choosing chicken over hamburger, but I still find it a challenge.
Despite my hurt ankle (from an accident in October) I am trying to walk more. During lunch I usually take a 15 to 30 minute walk around the lower level of my workplace. I always finish with a stretching exercise, especially with the ankle to prevent further damage. Tonight, unless something comes up to stop me, I will be trying the Walk Away The Pounds tape series. This should give me some nightly cardio.
Updated: Well, didn't do the WATP tape. No extra workout other than the regular playing with the triplets. I have attached my spreadsheet of what I ate. I know that I could have done much better, but what can I say? I at least wrote down what I ate. Next step, do it again today and strive for perfection.
Do you have words of wisdom on what I could do to assist is this process? Let me know.
Thank you,
Scott H.
Despite my hurt ankle (from an accident in October) I am trying to walk more. During lunch I usually take a 15 to 30 minute walk around the lower level of my workplace. I always finish with a stretching exercise, especially with the ankle to prevent further damage. Tonight, unless something comes up to stop me, I will be trying the Walk Away The Pounds tape series. This should give me some nightly cardio.
Updated: Well, didn't do the WATP tape. No extra workout other than the regular playing with the triplets. I have attached my spreadsheet of what I ate. I know that I could have done much better, but what can I say? I at least wrote down what I ate. Next step, do it again today and strive for perfection.
Do you have words of wisdom on what I could do to assist is this process? Let me know.
Thank you,
Scott H.
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