Spin me Daddy, Spin me again

Spin me Daddy. Those words come from the most joyful child knowing that their daddy can spin them and will keep them safe. It is amazing how much they trust in my abilities. With my weak back and overweight body, I often doubt myself on what I can do. Thankfully, they have trust in me. On top of that they are very empathetic when I truely do hurt and can not perform whatever fun function that they wish me to do. That is why, with the help of my wonderful wife, I am trying lose weight. I am 289 pound man, down from 300+. I have already had one back surgery and if things keep up, I may have another one.

When I think of how much that I hurt and what I do to continue to give to the girls what they require and emotionally need out of me, I often reflect on what my own father has done for me over the years. He worked hard in a factory, second shift, often 7 days a week. On weekends, he wanted to work. Didn't understand then, but now I know that if he hadn't done this, nothing would have ever gotten done. He was our plumber, electrician, and over all handyman. Aside from all of this, he would give of his time to play ball with us kids.

Before I continue, I must add that my father has had 6 back sugeries, and has lost the use of his left leg. At the time of my childhood, it had only been about 3 or 4 surgeries. Only? Yeah, that's what I say. So, often he was in pain. Doing what was required of a father, but aiding the life of two growing boys. I can't say that my father and I ever fully connected. He was a man's man. I was a momma's boy. He wanted to work on the car, I wanted to clean the house. It helped me that my brother was more like him. That left me to work with mom most of the time. The bad part is that I never tried to learn all that I could from him. True, he is still with us and has plenty more to teach, but I missed out on a lot. (Though, I know that I still wouldn't like doing that stuff.)

I am not sure if my dad ever completely knew how much trust and pride I had in him. I knew that if he set out to do something, it would get done. I didn't have to second guess him. (When I became a teenager, that changed a little as it does with most teenagers.). But my pride is still there. How many people can say that their dad played baseball, with his back thrown out just to make his kids happy? How many people could go through 6 back surgeries, lose the use of their left leg, be told that he could never walk again, then turn around a learn to walk and climb a later? Would you have ever guessed that he was still able to hold up a motorcycle? Don't believe me, check out the picture within my blog.

Things have changed a bit with my dad. Time and hard work have taken it's toll on him. Things aren't the same anymore for him. Does that remove the pride I have? Nope. When I see him light up like nothing is wrong when my girls are around, it reminds me of the past when I was growing up.

He used to say, even when he was old and grey and in a wheel chair that he would still be able to kick my a$$. Though, I challenged him a few years back, I knew then and even now when to back down. Cause I believe he still can.

Would I like to grow up to be just like him? I think he would say no. In part, I would say that he is wrong. In part, I would also say that he is right. He taught me manners, respect, discipline, honor, loyalty, trust, and to never give up. He had parts of his life that I know he regrets. That part, I know he would not like me to follow. For everything else, I would be proud to be like him.

Dad, I love you! I always have. The dad that I am today is mostly due to you. Sure, I make mistakes with my kids and I know that I have and will make mistakes as a son, but I am thankful that you accept me for who I am and continue to build me up to be better.

Scotty